Nell & Charles

What's at the core of your job?

A week ago, two experiences got me thinking deeply about my job.

On Thursday, I spent the evening with hundreds of people dressed up like the cast from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

It’s the 50th anniversary of the movie and my sister-in-law, Nell Campbell (who played Columbia in the original play and in the movie), was in town on tour. She kindly asked me and Bill to join her.

It was fun to be VIPs, exciting to be amidst an enthusiastic crowd.

But what stood out most was the genuine, profound connection between Nell and the fans. This wasn’t normal celebrity fandom. No. These fans were in tears as they told Nell what a difference the movie had made in their lives.

Given its celebration of sexual freedom and characters defying traditional gender and sexual norms, the movie has had a lasting impact - no less relevant today than it was fifty years ago.

As they lined up to talk to Nell, fans told stories of how the movie gave them a sense of belonging and community.

Nell greeted each fan, every story, with generosity and respect. She listened deeply, asked thoughtful questions, and stayed focused on them rather than herself. This wasn’t typical celebrity-dom.

Nell was witnessing and honoring her fans and their transformation. She took that responsibility seriously and they walked away fulfilled.

It was deeply moving to watch.

The second experience happened the night before.

Out of town friends wanted to meet us in the city for dinner. So I booked a table at Fino. I hadn’t been there for a year but the memory of both the incredible food and the warm, welcoming atmosphere created by our waiter, Charles, stayed with me.

Given that it had been a year, I hadn’t expected Charles to remember me when I walked in and caught sight of him.

But there he was, exuding warmth like a gift.

“It’s good to see you again,” he said before I had a chance to say hello. His smile shone through his eyes.

I felt the same way.

“It’s great to see you as well!” I replied. And then I hesitated because a part of me couldn’t quite believe that in a relationship based on a transaction a year ago, we were having a genuine moment.

“I’m stunned you remember me. You probably don’t remember this, but I’m the one with…”

“Gluten free, dairy free,” he rattled off easily as he led me to the table. “I remember.”

Well now I was just gobsmacked. I had glanced at the reservation book and hadn’t seen a note next to my name.

“How? How do you remember that?”

“Believe it or not, I love my job,” he said, pulling out my chair. “Fino is celebrating its 35th anniversary and I began working here six months after it opened. I treat it like mine. My job is to remember my guests.”

He hadn’t said his job was to serve people. He made no mention of the skills he possessed that made him an excellent waiter. His job, according to him, was to witness and honor his guests. He had done that well - it was why I had come back.

These interactions got me thinking about what is at the core of my job and where it intersected with theirs. I’m a coach. Like Nell and Charles, I’m good at my job. All three of us have spent time, money and energy practicing and gaining skills to better serve our clients and audiences.

But our job truly, at its core, is about genuinely connecting with other people. Creating environments in which others can experience transformation. Nell, Charles and I believe it’s a privilege to do so. It’s what makes our work not a job, but a joy.

The divine Nell Campbell